Sometimes I feel like you don't care about what I have to say. I don't know if it's just me, but it's always a "oh, cool!" It's never a matter of digging deeper into it, just like dusting one layer of dirty from an archeological site, but not finishing the job. On another hand, I feel like I talk to much about myself, so, it really out weighs itself, but I still feel empty. I don't know. I could be wrong and just studying a single case of it happening. I always ask you about what your doing, constantly engaging in conversation about what you're doing, asking questions, how it's going, stuff like that. I hope I'm wrong. Aside from feeling like no one cares about what I do and not feeling comfortable talking about what I'm doing, everything's ok. Yeah.
I just really wish this would stop bothering me as much as it is right now.
Another worry that's been creeping on my lately is, what if you love is not that same as it is in my brain? Yeah, song lyrics, but I like to over-analyze. What if we're on different levels of love? Like, what if I care more and I put out more, but that only in-turn makes you feel uncomfortable because you aren't, I guess, that high up as me? What if you don't care as much as I think you do? It's a weird feeling. Like. I want to just pour my heart out to you sometimes, but I feel like I'm a needy boyfriend who complains about his feelings, and, I don't want that. But I get sad a lot for no reason. I over-analyze the smallest things, and that just makes me sad, and, well shit I don't want to feel sad when I'm talking to you because I feel like I'm bringing you down, I'd rather live in a cave than make you sad.
I'll probably just update this later-tonight. Or not. That would be better for me.
Fuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuck. Sometimes I feel like nothing. I'm just ~there~
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