The Cornerstone.

I feel horrible for somethings this end of the year. But I shouldn't, because it's their fault. Three girls have ended up liking me. And all three, I've shot down. Two freshman, and one sophmore.

(feels good being single bro)

But, I felt like utter shit when I found out, and the feeling when I told them no, was pretty bad. I don't think I'm good enough you know. And I know that I'm not good enough, every relationship has reminded me of that. And through all relationships I've been in, (except for one), all of them actually ended up with more pain and grief, than any of the emotional or physical pleasure... I mean yes, emotionally, I'm a much happier person when I have someone that you know, cares and loves me but, it's not nearly worth everything after that relationship. The fucking lies and gossip. It's almost like comparing the high to he shit that remains in you that tells tests that you attained that high, shit will stay in there for a while, and you can't do anything about it.

(did you know that being single is cheaper than dating? Yeah)

It's not that I'd want to find someone that I can be happy with, that has even a slight similarity in the things that I'm interested in, but, it's more that I fear being in a relationship. I fear not being good enough, I fear people talking, I fear society.

I love my little bubble, I love my friends, I love my loneliness. I love it all really. And it's because it's all familiar territory. I've roamed that territory, I know the boundaries.

But when I cross into unfamiliar territory, I fear myself.

(if that makes sense?)

...

(sidenote, if no one wants to listen to me, this place will <3)

And as sad as it sounds, you, or anyone else shouldn't feel sorry for that, because I for one, love loneliness. It give me freedom. And I love silence. It gives me time to think.