Positive/Negative

Ben Gibbard in his early days is a beautiful Ben Gibbard, and rocking a Gibson SG, probably late 80's or 90's model, because the new ones of today look gay.

Is it strange to say that I want a psychiatrist? I'd feel horrible approaching my parents with the prospect of getting me one, but it's teasing my mind somewhat. Someone that you have absolutely no ties to, at all, nothing known between the two of you and just openness? Of course it teases me dreadfully.

I could always go find those people in school who are apparently psychiatrists or, whatever they are, mental poops, or wanna be soul seekers who wish to fulfill themselves by working with America's youth. Do I feel sorry for them? Maybe. All I know, they sit in their little offices and do nothing to my contemporary knowledge; one of them located 2 doors down from Mr. Brown's glorified orchestra. I miss the class. The music, the layers, the harmonies, the dynamics, it all appeals to me greatly but, so does laziness. Pity. Yeah. I think I could try to talk to Mr. Lederman about it and try not to sound like I've gone off the bend or that I'm suicidal, because if they look at my record, I'm a clean student with no disciplinary issues and not even a tardy to a class, so they won't think I'm doing it to skip class, right? They won't think that I'm doing it for some loophole reach-around to the system.. I just want to talk to someone who doesn't know me and tell them exactly everything and at least see what they have to say about it, I mean, they did go through college for it, right? Take their advice. See how it goes. And if it goes swell-ly (what's the word for that?); I can go back, shake their hand, and thank them. That's all I want from it. Maybe I can wait till college and contract one myself without my mom or dad ever knowing. I don't want them to think that they grew me up wrong or something, because that's the last burden I want to put on them...

I don't want any of that medicine shit though. Simple human guidance and judgement.

Welp. Okay. I wrote this while listening to "Building Something out of Nothing" by Modest Mouse.